There are a lot of different Moms out there. You see them on Social Media, in the grocery store, at the park. There are a plethora of articles online that talk about the various parenting styles and why each one is the better way to parent or why one way is OK or not.
Now that my little guy is getting to the age where life is no longer JUST about keeping him alive, I’m trying to figure out the type of Mom/Parent I am and want to be. I think there is also a big difference between the type of mom I idealize vs what is realistic for me. I would, of course, love to be the perfect mom, but I know that there is no such thing.
- I don’t get worked up (any more) about breastfeeding. O didn’t/couldn’t breastfeed and I carried that guilt with me for about 6 months. I don’t remember when it happened but I eventually stopped caring. I will try with my second but if it doesn’t happen, I won’t loose any sleep over it. A fed baby is a happy baby. A happy baby makes for a happy mommy.
- My kids clothes will probably always have stains on them. I can’t always be bothered to put on a bib and sometimes food gets on their shirt. See also: Grass stains, dirt stains etc.
- I don’t like cleaning – for example:
- My floors will never be clean. I vacuum when I can, but washing the floors is just not a priority for me. I never really washed my floors before kids, I don’t plan on starting now (except for the occasional spot clean).
- Our nick nacks and shelves will always have a thin layer of dust on them. I try and dust every once in awhile, but only when it gets really bad.
- My house will probably always be some degree of disaster mess. I try and tidy up whenever or wherever I can, but at the end of the day, I’d rather crash on the couch with Jonny then put away all the toys that are going to get pulled out again in 12 hours.
- I’m not going to LOVE every moment of being a parent. There have already been times where I’ve gone “this sucks” and that’s ok. The majority of the time, I really do love it, but it’s OK to not love getting up at 3am to throw-up and diarrhea. Nobody likes that.
- I’m not the mom who will never yell at her kids. I will try my VERY hardest not to, because I know that yelling doesn’t accomplish anything. However, I also know that when I’m overwhelmed and feeling anxious I tend to react before I think.
- My kids will probably learn to swear from me. Obviously not something I’m going to explicitly teach them, but I like to swear and sometimes, they’re going to hear me swear. I’m ok with it.
- I’m going to let my kids throw tantrums. Especially in the early toddler years. I’ve done SO much reading about this (I have a lot of anxiety about O having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store) and majority of research shows that this is just how kids express themselves. I’m not saying I will give in to them, but I WILL let them express their displeasure.
- I AM the type of Mom that will pretty much let her child explore anything and everything. If my son wants to try and eat a rock, I’m going to let him because I know he’s going to spit it out. I’m a big believe in learning by doing.
- That being said, I’m a control freak, so sometimes I’m going to just do something for them because I want to do it the “right” way. Probably most likely to happen when we’re trying to get out the door and they want to tie their shoes and take an hour to do so.
- I will fight my inner control freak and let them experience the world as they see fit. Unless it’s illegal, immoral or unhealthy. Then I will step in. My mom used to say this to my sister and I and it drove us crazy. I get it now, though.
- I’m not the SAHM type. I’ve talked about it here, and I’m ok with it. I’m quite happy to drop my kid off at daycare and go to work. He’s happy and I’m happy. Win-win.
- I’m the mom that will probably worry every day that her children are going to die in some freak accident or be abducted. Even when they go away to school…and have children of their own…or when I’m dead. I will always worry about that. Always call your mom back, guys. Always.
- I will love my children with all my heart. No matter what they do. I may not like them all the time, but I will always love them.
- Finally – while figuring out what type of Mom I am, I’m also trying to remember who I am BESIDES being a Mom. I know there is so much more to me that just being “Mom” When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.
Anything you would add to the list?